To say that American businesses are over-regulated is a bit of an understatement. In very small print, the USDA spends 14 pages to spell out regulations specifically pertaining to rabbits and requirements that need to be met to keep one’s “rabbit license.”

A 1965 law required that labs obtain government licenses in order to use animals for testing purposes. But in 1970, that law was amended to include not just labs, but any entity that exhibits animals. Like zoos and circuses. But because the regulations written to enforce these laws are so vague and wordy like every other law and regulation we have, anything can be said to “exhibit” animals. Not just the big things like zoos.

Apparently, magicians who use rabbits as props for their tricks are not at all exempt. So, they too must obtain a license to “exhibit” their pet rabbits. And since they have to have the proper government license to do so, they must follow all the regs associated with maintaining that license. They have to pay $40 a year, give their animal regular vet care and submit to random house searches.

But now they’ve apparently got a new requirement needed in order for these magicians to hold on to their “rabbit licenses.” 54-year-old magician Marty Hahne knows about it, because he got a letter from the USDA asking him for a “disaster plan” for his rabbit, Casey. You know, like, “What does Marty the Magician plan on doing to make sure his rabbit is safe in case of a flood, a hurricane or an earthquake?” This is not a joke.

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