Daily Archives: June 17, 2014

Just why did the chicken cross the road?

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SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it’s lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Arizona’s redesigned driver license, new process now effective

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250px-port-driver-licensePHOENIX – Effective June 16, the newly designed Arizona driver license – and a new process to get it – are now in place.

The Arizona Department of Transportation Motor Vehicle Division has expanded the central credential issuance process to all offices statewide, meaning that customers visiting a Motor Vehicle Division or Authorized Third Party office to obtain a new driver license or identification card will leave with a temporary credential. The permanent license or identification card will be mailed to the customer and received within 15 days.

With a primary focus on protecting a customer’s personal information and protect against identity theft, ADOT has launched a new, high-security credential format. Arizona is following a change occurring across the nation by many states with the production of a driver license with a background that contains numerous security features. The previously designed photo background was very limited in its capability to contain viable security features.

“Our top priority is always customer safety and security,” said Stacey Stanton, director of ADOT’s Motor Vehicle Division. “The new and improved security features better safeguard personal information. The updated issuance process has added steps for ensuring the license or identification card is delivered to the right person and helps prevent identity theft.”

There is no need for a customer to rush out to an office to obtain the new credential. A current driver license or identification card will remain valid until its expiration date – or at least until the 12-year mark when the photo needs to be refreshed. The price of a duplicate credential remains $12 for many customers.

Customers at ADOT Motor Vehicle Division offices will no longer be issued a permanent or duplicate driver license or identification card at the end of the application process. The credential will instead be mailed to the address on the customer’s application. It is important to ensure the correct mailing address has been provided in order to receive the credential.

With the new central issuance process it is critical that customers keep their address updated with MVD. State law requires that residents notify the Motor Vehicle Division of an address change within 10 days, although the purchase of a new credential isn’t required. Address changes can be made online at ServiceArizona.com.

This central-issuance process has already been in place in 14 of ADOT’s offices in communities in Greater Arizona and in the Authorized Third Party offices that process driver licenses. Now the process has expanded to all offices statewide.

The temporary driver license or identification card contains a photo and the basic information that appears on the actual credential. As in other states that have moved to this process, the decision to accept the temporary credential as proof of identity exists solely with the organization requesting to see the license or identification card.

The process of central credential issuance is used by most states around the country and is a growing trend as states transition to higher-security credentials.

For at least 12 years, there will be more than one valid Arizona driver license and identification card.

Security features of the new credential include:

  • A larger primary portrait with a smaller redundant ghost portrait ensuring customer appearance is clearly reflected.
  • A high-security, design comprised of unique Arizona geological features in the background created through the use of Guilloché innovative symmetry.A Guilloché design involves techniques consisting of intricate, repetitive patterns that are interwoven to guard against counterfeiting, altering or other fraudulent use, making for a more secure credential.
  • A laser perforation in the shape of Arizona, which when held up to the light is used to quickly authenticate the credential.
  • Tactile date of birth field to assist in authenticating the credential using the sense of touch. The date in this field will have a raised feel to it.
  • Tri-color Optically Variable Device consisting of the state outline, the state name “Arizona,” the state seal, a saguaro cactus and a star. This laminate overlay provides the final layer of the credential and provides one more feature for authentication.
  • The ringtail, declared the state mammal in 1986, is illustrated on the front of the new credential. Ringtails, found throughout the state, are cat-sized carnivores resembling a small fox with a long raccoon-like tail.

State Route 89A switchbacks closure lifted early

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640px-sr89-Sedona-140501-42PHOENIX — Drivers traveling between Sedona and Flagstaff received welcome news when the Arizona Department of Transportation lifted restrictions and opened the “switchbacks” section of State Route 89A to motorists, well ahead of schedule, late last night. There are currently no construction/fire-related restrictions along SR 89A between Sedona and Flagstaff.

The three-mile section of SR 89A (mileposts 387-390) between the Pine Flat Campground and the Vista Point scenic overlook south of Flagstaff was closed to allow crews to resurface the highway along this narrow, twisty section of roadway, which is prone to rockfalls. As part of the $2 million improvement project, ADOT removed loose rocks from the mountainside along the roadway and made deck repairs to the historic Pumphouse Wash Bridge.

By allowing the contractor (Phoenix-based Combs Construction) unrestricted access to the work zone, crews were able to safely complete paving, bridge repair and rock scaling work in an expedited manner that would not have been possible without the full closure of the roadway.

From the beginning, ADOT was committed to completing the project as soon as possible while focusing on safety and quality. Prior to the start of the project, ADOT provided the contractor monetary incentives to complete the project prior to the end of the scheduled five-week closure. The contractor will receive the maximum allowed bonus ($104,000) for completing the work early.

“Thanks to the swift efforts by the contractor Combs Construction and ADOT’s steadfast commitment to complete the project as efficiently and safely as possible, we were able to reopen the closed SR 89A section of roadway – an incredible 16 days ahead of schedule,” said Flagstaff District Engineer Audra Merrick. “Despite this project’s many challenges, in the end, this will be a smoother, safer road for the traveling public for many years to come.”

The project began on April 21, with single lane restrictions in place along the switchbacks. The five-week full closure of the highway had originally been scheduled from May 27 – July 2, but crews were evacuated from the project on May 20, at the start of the Slide Fire. The wildfire originated approximately six miles south of the project near Slide Rock State Park and forced the closure of the highway from Sedona to Fort Tuthill in Flagstaff.

Work on the project resumed on June 1, shortly after local authorities lifted wildfire-related restrictions near the highway.

ADOT had a limited window in which to complete the paving work in this region (June – August) because applying new pavement is extremely temperature sensitive. The goal was to complete the pavement improvements prior to the rainy monsoon season, which could have delayed the project significantly.

ADOT will need to return next month to complete final lane striping through the project corridor. A single-lane restriction will be required and flaggers will be present to guide traffic through the work zone.