Glen’s Political Corollary to Murphy’s Law

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©1998 by Glen C. Davis
Elections
1. What a candidate tells you they won’t, they will. And vice-versa.
2. Representatives don’t.
3. The amount of effort that a candidate puts into explaining why a project or legislation is not needed is equal to the amount of effort that a candidate will put into getting that project or legislation through.

  • Just enough of Congress will vote against an unpopular legislation to ensure its passage.*

4. The newly elected arriving in Washington have only a few days to forget where they come from.

  • Exception: Election year.*

5. Whenever government officials are unsure of a next step, a new tax will be added.

  • Whenever there is nothing going on in Washington, a new tax will be added.
  • Taxes is power.

6. Whenever Congress is ready for recess, a pay raise will be voted in.

  • Just enough of Congress will vote against a pay raise to ensure it’s passage.
  • Whenever a new tax or pay raise is voted down, a breakdown in communications has occured.
  • When recess is called, an immediate tax-payer paid fact finding mission to the Bahamas must be called.
  • The politician you do not like is the one responsible for raising the debt ceiling.*

7. When all else fails, pass a law or raise a tax.
8. Polls run the government.

  • Politically correct is a term that applies to whatever polls indicate.
  • No one in the south-west will be allowed to participate in polls.

9. Tough new anti-criminal laws apply to everywhere in the nation except Washington D.C.
10. Any Congress person attempting to get useful legislation passed will be expected to support at least thirty useless legislations.
11. The amount Congress complains about big government is directly proportional to the amount of bureaucracies they will create.
12. Legislation is not for the benefit of constituents.

  • Truth has no place in legislation.

13. People don’t vote. Political Action Committees do.
14. A Congressperson who is unpopular in Washington or popular at home is afraid to fly.
15. Rules for media

  • It’s not who knows, but how many know.
  • Any devastating issue is a complex issue which the public can’t possibly understand and thus must be covered up (ie. Campaign contributions, Monica Lewinsky)
  • Standard answer: “Right-wing Conspiracy.”
  • To avoid offending favorite politician, report on singing puppies.*

* Update.

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