Category Archives: Humor

Invasion of the Saucer Men.

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This Halloween season we offer another “scary” movie for you. We present Invasion of the Saucer Men.

This one is actually not scary, nor was it intended to be. There are a few scary scenes to be sure. Such as the crawling hand. The overall attempt of this gem, however, was to counter other juvenile delinquent movies of the time.

Like many other movies, an attempt at a remake was filmed, albeit poorly. There is nothing like the original on this one. The best comical saucer movie since this 1957 classic was the 1986 Tim Burton movie Invaders from Mars.

Glen’s Political Corollary to Murphy’s Law

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©1998 by Glen C. Davis
Elections
1. What a candidate tells you they won’t, they will. And vice-versa.
2. Representatives don’t.
3. The amount of effort that a candidate puts into explaining why a project or legislation is not needed is equal to the amount of effort that a candidate will put into getting that project or legislation through.

  • Just enough of Congress will vote against an unpopular legislation to ensure its passage.*

4. The newly elected arriving in Washington have only a few days to forget where they come from.

  • Exception: Election year.*

5. Whenever government officials are unsure of a next step, a new tax will be added.

  • Whenever there is nothing going on in Washington, a new tax will be added.
  • Taxes is power.

6. Whenever Congress is ready for recess, a pay raise will be voted in.

  • Just enough of Congress will vote against a pay raise to ensure it’s passage.
  • Whenever a new tax or pay raise is voted down, a breakdown in communications has occured.
  • When recess is called, an immediate tax-payer paid fact finding mission to the Bahamas must be called.
  • The politician you do not like is the one responsible for raising the debt ceiling.*

7. When all else fails, pass a law or raise a tax.
8. Polls run the government.

  • Politically correct is a term that applies to whatever polls indicate.
  • No one in the south-west will be allowed to participate in polls.

9. Tough new anti-criminal laws apply to everywhere in the nation except Washington D.C.
10. Any Congress person attempting to get useful legislation passed will be expected to support at least thirty useless legislations.
11. The amount Congress complains about big government is directly proportional to the amount of bureaucracies they will create.
12. Legislation is not for the benefit of constituents.

  • Truth has no place in legislation.

13. People don’t vote. Political Action Committees do.
14. A Congressperson who is unpopular in Washington or popular at home is afraid to fly.
15. Rules for media

  • It’s not who knows, but how many know.
  • Any devastating issue is a complex issue which the public can’t possibly understand and thus must be covered up (ie. Campaign contributions, Monica Lewinsky)
  • Standard answer: “Right-wing Conspiracy.”
  • To avoid offending favorite politician, report on singing puppies.*

* Update.

At least he didn’t take it in the head

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mcllroy-1Golf spectators are used to taking one in the head. But they rarely take one where this fan took it.

According to the description of the YouTube video from the PGA tour:

In the second round of the 2014 TOUR Championship by Coca-Cola, Rory McIlroy’s tee shot goes left into the trees and somehow lands in the pocket of a spectator on the par-4 14th hole. McIlroy would go on to two-putt for par.

The fan was allowed to keep the ball. From the video it appears that was because no one wanted to retrieve it.

Northern Arizona Gazette predicts winners in city council race

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Mayor John Moore may be re-elected

Mayor John Moore may be re-elected

WILLIAMS – Using the latest polling and scientific methods, the Northern Arizona Gazette feels confident in predicting the outcome of the city council race in the City of Williams.

With the results of the early balloting not yet in, we believe that Don Dent, Lee Payne and even Bernie Hiemenz will retain their council seats.

It also appears that Mayor John Moore should receive a majority of the votes provided no dogs, horses or other animals or livestock are written in.

On a serious note, Proposition 402 appears to be not consistent with Arizona voting practice. In the past, courts have stopped Propositions which asks voters to approve two different items in one proposal.

This Proposition calls for voters to approve the extension of the alternative expenditure limitation, or the so-called Home Rule. Otherwise the city would have to comply with the expenditure limits imposed by the State of Arizona. This proposal would allow Home Rule in Williams through 2019.

It also allows the candidates for office to be declared the winners in the primary election without having to appear on the ballot for the General Election on November 4. This would prevent any person desiring to be a write-in candidate for the General Election from running.

Row, Row, Row your boat, to get government benefits.

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10532458_10203862247492549_215813082528643457_nThis photo appeared on the Facebook page of Gene McVay. It is reported to be a group of American seniors stopped by the Coast Guard off the coast of Texas on July 29.

The story goes:

The Coast Guard intercepted this boat off the Texas coast today.

The boat was not heading to the US, but towards Mexico and central America.

Another surprise finding was that the people were American senior citizens. Their claim was that they were trying to get to Guatemala or Southern Mexico so they could return to the US as illegal immigrants. Then they would be entitled to far more benefits than they had earned as legitimate American retirees after working for 40 years.

It is believed the Coast Guard gave them food and water and turned them loose?

If they come back with tattoos covering their bodies they could get a lollipop from Texas representative Sheila Jackson Lee.

German Chancellor Merkel receives birthday greeting

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merkel-BBCBBC News reported that German Chancellor Angela Merkel received a birthday serenade during a recent press conference. Chancellor Merkel turned 60 on July 17 and reported that she received flowers from other leaders of the EU. It is not widely reported that the NSA sent a birthday greeting and Bit Coin to her IPhone.

Williams to follow lead of ADOT on wrong way signage

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300px-wrong-dipstickWILLIAMS – ADOT is posting larger wrong way signs and posting them lower to the ground. The hope is that they will be more eye-catching for drivers. In recent weeks there have been several accidents caused by wrong way drivers.

The Northern Arizona Gazette has learned that the City of Williams is considering the process for signs along their one-way routes of Railroad and Bill Williams Avenue. Bill Williams Avenue is one-way going east in the direction of Flagstaff while Railroad Avenue is one-way going west toward Ash Fork. Both streets are part of the defunct Route 66 highway system.

The City of Williams will have larger signs created. They will also be posted lower to the ground. They will also have a more western-style eye-catching message to drivers going in the wrong direction.

When contacted, City Hall stated, “This is a completely satire piece. It is meant for humor only. You’ve been had.”